Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
