my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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