Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
