yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
