Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
