K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
