just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
