if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
