He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
