He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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