Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
