Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
