just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i out mim tonsoeep
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
