is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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