there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
