Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize