do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize