remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
