Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
