chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
