he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
