No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
