Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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