I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
