shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
