what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
