Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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