Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
