It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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