I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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