was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
