I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
