Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
