Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
