Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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