community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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