Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
