I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
