So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
