Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
