Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
