are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
