I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
