Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
