I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
