My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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