it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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