And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
