i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
