I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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