Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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