all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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