i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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