so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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