Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Randomize
