no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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