oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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