party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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