where am i from again
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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