Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Every concussion has its silver lining
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
