Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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