Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize