I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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