never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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