actually, I'm a sock model
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
