You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
