I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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