my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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