a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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