Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
