Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
