Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
