Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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