Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
