I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
