i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
