The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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