You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
