No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
