There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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