I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
