D3 body, D1 cock
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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