Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize